It has been a year since I filed the police report. After calling weekly, and then monthly, I always got the same reply. “There are so many cases, we are backlogged.” and “We can’t talk about the case, but we are still working on it.” This week I received another call back. It was different this time. “Your case is still open, but it doesn’t look good.” After all this time, that’s what I hear?! I do understand, but it is frustrating! They may be looking at so many cases that each one becomes non-personal, like a number. But this is our problem, and it has affected our life, and most of all our mother’s. How can I explain to her when she asks, “Have you heard anything? Can I go home yet?”
You Can’t Stay Here
This time there was no choice and little discussion. My mother had to move out of the neighborhood. Now. This time she understood. After I filed the police report she couldn’t stay there. At first we thought it would be settled quickly and she could possibly move back. But it is not like the TV shows where crimes are solved in one hour. The justice system moves slowly. We didn’t realize just how slowly.
Again, we considered having my mother live with one of us, or stay with each of us in rotation. We tried the rotation for only nine weeks and knew it wouldn’t work. Our mother was so confused she didn’t know where she was half the time! It would have to be assisted living once again. Having been through this before I thought I knew where she could probably fit in. I called Senior Living Options and was put in touch with their representative, who was a different one than I’d worked with before. My sister thought she should go to a private home and we looked at a few, but I was not happy with what I found. After some negotiation help from the representative, we ended up with my first choice, Atria assisted living. It was clean and friendly and had an activity program and beautiful dining room. And it was again close to me.
We took a weekend to move in my mother’s mahogany guest room furniture and two living room chairs one pink and the other avocado green.I then went out shopping. I decided this time I would try to make my mother’s room look like a well appointed hotel room. I knew she was like me, not comfortable in rooms that weren’t color coordinated and nicely decorated. I found a beautiful quilt and matching pillows with large pink flowers in Marshalls. I ordered a small table for her kitchen area over the internet, and finished with a pale green rug and two artificial floor plants from Kohl’s. I hoped this would sell her on the room like the staging of a house for sale.
She did like her room and she settled into the routine of the place. She had many options to choose from there, from food to activities and the facility assigned a resident to talk with and show her around. We had high expectations that she would become part of the community. My mother had other ideas.